A Healthy Sense of Self, a Healthy Sense of Need, and an Openness to Healing Relationships

Having a healthy sense of self, a healthy sense of need, and an openness to healing relationships are all three essentials to a spiritually and emotionally sound client (McMinn, 1996). The three aspects work together feeding and complementing each other when all are healthy. They are interwoven with each being dependent to some degree on the other. Just as all three work harmoniously together in a healthy person, one of the three aspects can adversely affect the other two when it is unhealthy.

A healthy sense of self refers to a knowing and acceptance of oneself, both positive and negative attributes. Clients see themselves as an integral part of Christ’s church with a responsibility to God and others. Instead of freedom and independence, clients value self-sacrifice and the ministering to the needs of others in their lives. Clients become focused on God and move away from self-sufficiency. Self-absorption, self-hate, and lack of self restraint no longer have a hold on clients with a healthy sense of self. Because of this, clients can exhibit more of the fruits of the spirit Paul highlights in Galatians 5.

A healthy sense of need refers to an understanding of brokenness, a separation from God and acknowledgement of one’s sinful nature. This aspect is particularly meaningful and suffers from many risks. By acknowledging that they need God and others, clients are humbled and grounded in Christ-like values. It breaks down walls that can inhibit clients from experiencing God’s glory in them and from growing closer to others. Several risks exist though that can cause a faulty awareness of need. With an external attributional style, clients can become stuck in the victim role. This can show up as bitterness, cynicism, and helplessness, believing that others control their emotions and actions. By understanding that they are part of the human race that God has created and that they were born with original sin due to the Fall, clients can view their brokenness accurately. They see their brokenness as real, requiring God to heal them, but they do not see it as debilitating.

Openness to healing relationships refers to an accurate understanding of one’s relationship with God and others. One of the critical healing relationships involves the client and the counselor. The counselor can model for clients what a healthy Christian should be. Qualities such as trust, empathy, and respect, all necessary for a healthy relationship, can be exhibited in the counseling session. Care needs to be taken that clients do not consider the counselor as their savior or become dependent on the counselor. Likewise, the risk of the counselor-client relationship being exploited needs to be watched. Instead, clients need to be directed, when appropriate, towards God and the healing that He is producing in them. Nouwen (1975), like McMinn, also highlights the importance of healthy boundaries. In this way, clients can avoid unhealthy clinging to others and allow for a healthy space with which to grow closer to God and to others.


McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.

Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.

Summary of McMinn's Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian counseling

Mark McMinn (1996) advances the belief that Christian counselors need to not only be versed in the latest psychological methods and knowledgeable about theological concepts, but they also need to have a spiritual maturity. With these three disciplines, counselors can feel well prepared in addressing prayer, Scripture, sin, confession, forgiveness, and redemption. McMinn (1996) puts forth a model for healing which starts with a healthy sense of self, moves into brokenness or need, and concludes with a healthy relationship with God and others.

Praying for clients outside of the counseling session or in counseling sessions quietly is strongly urged as it can help and does not put the client at any risk. Open prayer, however, with the client can be both helpful and harmful. On the positive, clients can learn how to pray and can grow closer to God by petitioning in prayer or by worshiping God. On the negative, clients may grow too intimate with the counselor or may not pray by themselves believing the prayers in the counseling sessions suffice. McMinn (1996) emphasizes it is critical for the counselor to have his or her own prayer times to remain strong with the Lord.

Scripture is rarely used in counseling according to McMinn (1996) despite its healing potential. Psychologists help clients find the truth within themselves and to count on themselves to solve their problems. Christian counselors, however, look to God for this and to Scripture for the Truth. Depending on the client’s mental and spiritual well-being, a counselor must determine the appropriate use of Scripture.

With sin, some clients blame themselves for their choices in life while others blame everyone else. By accenting the concept of original sin, those clients who blame themselves can be given hope as all men were born with this. By accenting personal sin, those who blame everyone else can be shown their own part to play and can be redirected towards God.

Confession of their sins can lead clients into a new relationship with God. Some who think poorly of themselves resist confession due to the discomfort it brings while others who think too highly of themselves resist it out of sheer pride. Psychologists use confession to come to a place of comfort while Christian counselors use it so clients can see themselves and God in the right light.

Forgiveness, as with confession, can be used by psychologists to free clients of the pain and memories which have held them back. Christian counselors encourage forgiveness as a Christian duty. God tells us to forgive and so we should. However, true forgiveness comes when Christians are aware of their own inequities and forgive their perpetrators out of kindness and compassion.

Redemption of the client occurs when God cleans the slate of all the client’s sins and provides him or her with a new Christ-centered life. Counselors can play a role in this process by providing comfort to their clients and perspective on their clients’ lives. God ultimately provides the redemption.

McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.

When and How Do You Address Sin in Counseling

My views on discussing sin are changing as with several other key issues. Previously, I was a believer in a “shine the light” philosophy. That is, speak the truth in love and you are doing what God would have you do. In reflecting more on this, I am now of the opinion that you have to meet the client where he or she currently is. I think the more that the client is strong in his or her faith, I would be open for direct confrontation. I would need to know if my client is aware of his or her sins. If so, is he or she repentant? If these are answered in the affirmative, then direct confrontation may likely be my best approach.

So many clients, however, enter counseling in self-doubt and with much guilt. In these cases, I can see the use of McMinn’s “empathic confrontation” (1996, p. 150) as a much more productive approach. If there is any doubt whether the addressing of sin could harm the client, it is my duty to be patient in this matter. The therapeutic relationship in these situations is more important that the confrontation of sin.

McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.