My views on discussing sin are changing as with several other key issues. Previously, I was a believer in a “shine the light” philosophy. That is, speak the truth in love and you are doing what God would have you do. In reflecting more on this, I am now of the opinion that you have to meet the client where he or she currently is. I think the more that the client is strong in his or her faith, I would be open for direct confrontation. I would need to know if my client is aware of his or her sins. If so, is he or she repentant? If these are answered in the affirmative, then direct confrontation may likely be my best approach.
So many clients, however, enter counseling in self-doubt and with much guilt. In these cases, I can see the use of McMinn’s “empathic confrontation” (1996, p. 150) as a much more productive approach. If there is any doubt whether the addressing of sin could harm the client, it is my duty to be patient in this matter. The therapeutic relationship in these situations is more important that the confrontation of sin.
McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Risks of Praying in Counseling Sessions
McMinn ( 1996) highlights several risks in praying in counseling sessions. Three risks that he points out involve praying with the client. The first is that praying can be extremely intimate and as such could adversely affect the therapeutic relationship. The second risk is that in praying with the client, the counselor can reduce the client’s propensity for praying directly to God. The third risk is that by praying with the client, the counselor can be looked upon as a righteous person who is quick to judgment. The client then may be reluctant to become vulnerable with the counselor, afraid that his or her sins will be condemned.
Another risk comes from praying silently for the client in the counseling session during pauses or client reflection time. The risk is that the counselor may be distracted in praying and not be in the moment with the client. Body language signals may be missed that would provide hints to the counselor in how to proceed. This last risk that McMinn (1996) identifies if of particular importance to me. I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and as such can become distracted very easily.
McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
Another risk comes from praying silently for the client in the counseling session during pauses or client reflection time. The risk is that the counselor may be distracted in praying and not be in the moment with the client. Body language signals may be missed that would provide hints to the counselor in how to proceed. This last risk that McMinn (1996) identifies if of particular importance to me. I have Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) and as such can become distracted very easily.
McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Uses of Scripture in Counseling
I believe there are three critical uses of Scripture in counseling. First, as Johnson (1992) highlights, Scripture can be used to provide a standard of truth. Without God’s Word, the understanding of right and wrong becomes blurred.
Second, Scripture provides a proper frame of what the client is experiencing. When a client is suffering, he or she may feel confused, guilty, or depressed to name a few emotions. By sharing Scripture such as James 1 or 1st Peter 1 in which suffering is seen as a helpful experience in knowing our Savior more intimately, the counselor uses Scripture to provide the proper frame.
Third, it can be used in cognitive therapy to correct faulty thinking (McMinn, 1996). The Bible is full of hope. Many people are not able to see hope in their lives. Thoughts such as being unlovable or not good enough are common. Clients may feel that they will always feel this bad and that the future can only be worse. By exposing clients to Scripture, a counselor can discuss these false thoughts in the light.
Each of these three uses ultimately serves one purpose: to help the client grow closer in his or her relationship with God.
Johnson, E.L. (1992). A place for the Bible within psychological science. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 20, 346-355.
McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
Second, Scripture provides a proper frame of what the client is experiencing. When a client is suffering, he or she may feel confused, guilty, or depressed to name a few emotions. By sharing Scripture such as James 1 or 1st Peter 1 in which suffering is seen as a helpful experience in knowing our Savior more intimately, the counselor uses Scripture to provide the proper frame.
Third, it can be used in cognitive therapy to correct faulty thinking (McMinn, 1996). The Bible is full of hope. Many people are not able to see hope in their lives. Thoughts such as being unlovable or not good enough are common. Clients may feel that they will always feel this bad and that the future can only be worse. By exposing clients to Scripture, a counselor can discuss these false thoughts in the light.
Each of these three uses ultimately serves one purpose: to help the client grow closer in his or her relationship with God.
Johnson, E.L. (1992). A place for the Bible within psychological science. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 20, 346-355.
McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Christianity vs Psychology: 5 Models of Integration
David Entwistle lists 5 types of integrationists: enemies, spies, colonialists, neutral parties, and allies. Enemies are either psychologists or theologists who believe there is only one truth, and the other is a threat to real truth. Spies are psychologists who dabble with Christianity to learn some of its methods, such as forgiveness, but do not believe Christianity is a path of truth. Colonialists are Christians who see merit in some of the psychological methods for healing, but are wary of the practice. Neutral parties believe there is no overlap between the two disciplines. Both are parallel methods for seeking the truth. Lastly allies believe both are necessary fields which are best when working together. Neither has authority over the other.
I am a colonialist because I view psychology, as Entwistle (2004) states, through the filter of the Bible. I see the Bible as the closest representation of God’s truth. I see the world as progressing away from our Creator. I do not agree with Entwistle (2004) that to be a colonialist means that I am incompetent in psychology. Instead, I believe much of the methods prescribed by psychology can be misused if not taken in context with Biblical truths. We as Christian counselors must trust God’s Word and allow for His mystery when psychological or common sense explanations appear to discredit a Biblical interpretation. When there is disagreement between the two books, I believe it behooves us to give the Bible the benefit of the doubt. Certainly the Bible can be interpreted in multiple ways. Rather than assume a Biblical interpretation is wrong, I feel we as Christians should consider how that interpretation could have meaning in our lives. By allowing that we do not know what we do not know, we create an opening for God to work in our lives and the lives of others.
Entwistle, D.N. (2004). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: an introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock Publishers.
I am a colonialist because I view psychology, as Entwistle (2004) states, through the filter of the Bible. I see the Bible as the closest representation of God’s truth. I see the world as progressing away from our Creator. I do not agree with Entwistle (2004) that to be a colonialist means that I am incompetent in psychology. Instead, I believe much of the methods prescribed by psychology can be misused if not taken in context with Biblical truths. We as Christian counselors must trust God’s Word and allow for His mystery when psychological or common sense explanations appear to discredit a Biblical interpretation. When there is disagreement between the two books, I believe it behooves us to give the Bible the benefit of the doubt. Certainly the Bible can be interpreted in multiple ways. Rather than assume a Biblical interpretation is wrong, I feel we as Christians should consider how that interpretation could have meaning in our lives. By allowing that we do not know what we do not know, we create an opening for God to work in our lives and the lives of others.
Entwistle, D.N. (2004). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: an introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock Publishers.
What is Spiritual Counseling
Spiritual counseling is the process of identifying a client’s views of the supernatural world and potentially helping him or her chart a path to grow closer to God. I realize that I must respect the views of clients rather than advocate my own Christian views. Therefore, spiritual counseling will look much different depending on my client. With an atheist client, spiritual counseling would entail understanding why the client believes there is no other world than what is seen. With a non-Christian client, the scope can be expanded much more. Though not Christ-centered, the discussion can progress from where the client is today to how the client can grow more spiritual, more centered with God or, in the case of several Eastern religions, with the spiritual realm. It is assisting and potentially guiding a client as the mind descends into the heart (Nouwen, 1975). Spiritual counseling is helping the client discover that deep contentment within oneself which allows the client to view the physical world in proper perspective. Nouwen (1975) calls this receptive solitude. Finally, with a Christian client, Christ’s sacrifice and the full forgiveness of our sins can be interwoven into the client’s spiritual journey.
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.
What it Means to be Human
I believe what makes someone uniquely human is first that he or she was made in the image of God. This implies that, deep down, humans are good. I truly believe C.S. Lewis’s point that if we could really see each other for what we are, we would be tempted to worship each other. Unfortunately sin also is a uniquely human trait. Because of original sin, we as humans are living in a muddied world where greed and selfishness, to name a few sins, have hardened our hearts and blinded our eyes to the beauty of each other and the glory of our God. So we as humans are naturally good beings, but unnaturally sinning against our Maker. To believe that humans are good and yet to see evil in this world, one must also consider there is a third party involved. Satan is working against us, a thief in the night. As humans we are not able to battle against the Enemy without our Savior. As Paul states in Romans 7, although we want to do good, evil is there. Only by the power of Jesus Christ can we do what we naturally are inclined to do.
Deciding Right From Wrong
As a Christian I believe that it is my responsibility to follow the Bible in all of my ethical decisions. Where it is clear, “thou shalt not commit adultery”, there is no question. But what about those areas not spelled out in detail? For instance, is the abused wife free to divorce and remarry? For these questions, the use of hermeneutics and the seeking of wise counsel would by my direction. By researching God’s Word more thoroughly and by listening to trusted people who have faced similar ethical dilemmas, I will be better equipped to decide right from wrong. Throughout the search for truth, I believe that praying for God’s wisdom is essential. In counseling others, I will be very forthright with my beliefs, through informed consent, but willing to walk with clients using their belief systems. For non-Christian clients, I would expect my counsel to lean more towards how the decision affects the client and others involved. For Christian clients, I will be more able to rely on the Bible’s direction. With both sets of clients, I will pray for their clarity and mine. Ultimately, I must trust the Holy Spirit in how to minister to my clients.
The Two Books of God: The Word and His Works
I do believe that all truth is God’s truth (Entwistle, 2004). Both the book of God’s word and the book of God’s work allow us to see our Creator more clearly. However, Entwistle himself highlighted that the world as we see it has distanced itself further from the truth than the Bible could have been mistranslated. Because of this, I view the Bible as superior to lessons learned in this world. Early on in my walk, I did not believe in Satan. Everything was either of God or of my flesh. I now believe Paul as he wrote in Ephesians 6 that our fight is not against the world that we see, but against the evil in the spiritual world that exists all around us. I now view problems of the natural world, such as sickness or deceit, in a new dimension. These are to be tackled with natural means, such as medicine or intervention, as well as with spiritual warfare, such as prayer or fasting. The two worlds are interwoven, both of God. Both trusting in God’s Word and acknowledging the spiritual world require faith in God. Both produce an overwhelming peace in me that God is in control.
Entwistle, D.N. (2004). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: an introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock Publishers.
Entwistle, D.N. (2004). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: an introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock Publishers.
My Sources of Truth
First and foremost I believe the Bible is the supreme authority when it comes to matters of relationship. God Himself is relational as the Trinity highlights. Throughout the Bible, there is God’s wisdom showing how to relate with Him and how to relate with others. The Bible is also my supreme authority with regards to morality. It is God’s direction for how we should live. I believe in empirical knowledge when it comes to the sciences. The Bible was not intended to answer all of the world’s mysteries. Instead, God provided us with the ability to discover His world through the sciences. I believe in personal experience when it comes to empathizing with others. Through my sufferings, I am more able to feel a person’s hurt and walk along side of him or her. It is reason that I am most skeptical in giving authority. With reason, we can too easily dismiss miracles. With reason, we can potentially limit our spiritual growth and faith in God. In all of these circumstances, I believe, as Entwistle (2004) states, that we must stay humble, keeping open the possibility that our thinking may be in error.
Entwistle, D.N. (2004). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: an introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock Publishers.
Entwistle, D.N. (2004). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: an introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock Publishers.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
A Healthy Sense of Self
A healthy sense of self to me is that quality in which a person is at peace with who he or she is. The outside world does not dictate whether I am of value. I am not taken out by someone attacking me verbally. I have acknowledged my sins before my Creator and have received His and my forgiveness. Because of this, I am able to wake up each day with a sense of thanksgiving and a peace that nothing can disrupt. As Nouwen puts it, I have transitioned from “restless senses to the restful spirit” (1975, p. 34). When I have a healthy sense of self, I see the world, in some degree, through God’s eyes. I am able to experience others fully, focusing on their needs and bringing life to them (Nouwen, 1975). My insecurities drain away as I know that I am exactly who God designed me to be. When I do fail, which I will, I do not linger in my failure but instead smile, knowing that I have a good heart but am human. I quickly put behind my shortcomings and engage in life once again looking to further His kingdom. It is not about me. That is a healthy sense of self.
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Commitments After Reading Nouwen's Reaching Out: The three movements of the spiritual life.
I am committed to two actions. The first has to do with the teacher-student relationship discussed in the book. My son Hayden has ADD and is rarely a favorite of teachers. His creative writing teacher this year, Mr. Matthews, is the exception. As I shared with Hayden what teachers were writing about him, that he was not paying attention and not turning in work, Hayden responded expectantly, “What does Mr. Matthews write about me?” Mr. Matthews has bolstered my son’s confidence and seen the treasure of Hayden’s brain and his work. I commit to sending Mr. Matthews a letter expressing my gratitude for the impact he is having on my son.
Secondly, I am committed to spending 15 minutes each morning in prayer. I have done this sporadically but am committed to making this a daily routine. I fully agree with Nouwen’s point about combining reading of the Word with silence. I will read from a psalm or re-read some of my highlighted passages and then spend the rest of the time in prayer. I will try meditation by saying a phrase such as the Jesus prayer over and over to center myself during this time. But mostly, I will listen for His voice.
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.
Secondly, I am committed to spending 15 minutes each morning in prayer. I have done this sporadically but am committed to making this a daily routine. I fully agree with Nouwen’s point about combining reading of the Word with silence. I will read from a psalm or re-read some of my highlighted passages and then spend the rest of the time in prayer. I will try meditation by saying a phrase such as the Jesus prayer over and over to center myself during this time. But mostly, I will listen for His voice.
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.
Reflections on Bill under the Oak Trees of Manresa
Each January I travel to Louisiana to attend a four-day silent retreat led by the Jesuits. I walk under 175 year old oak trees which pepper the grounds of the old plantation home. There are 110 other men, but I am alone with God. This past January was particularly moving for me. One of my best friends Bill committed suicide last year. I had been the last person to talk to Bill, and I had been the one who found him. Under the oak trees, God had me go back to the day I found Bill. God and I walked together through Bill’s house as the anxiety in me built. I found Bill out on his back deck with a gunshot wound to his chest. This time as I relived it, I looked over and saw Jesus looking back at me. Tears flowed as I stood underneath the oak trees. Bill told me he was considering suicide. I tried to talk him into seeing a counselor, but I did not take him to one. The guilt I felt and still feel sometimes is intense. But there on the grounds of the retreat house, Jesus comforted me. I wept with grief, with guilt, but then with thanksgiving over His love for me and how He has carried me. Nouwen (1975) says when we reach out to God and have Him in our heart, we will experience pain and love together. I experienced both that day under the oak trees.
Summary of Nouwen's Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.
In this book Henri Nouwen proposes that man can grow spiritually closer to God by choosing three directions or movements when the choices arise. The first movement is from loneliness to solitude. Loneliness is the feeling that no matter how surrounded by people one may be, one is alone and lonely. Solitude on the other hand refers to that of being centered in life, content in experiencing life as it is occurring. When one makes that transition from loneliness to solitude, there is freedom in engaging in others’ lives. Life is no longer to be lived in scarcity and fear. Instead, life is to be lived in “fearless play” (Nouwen, 1975, p. 35). The second movement is from hostility to hospitality. Nouwen (1975) makes the case that most people view strangers with a sense of wariness, concerned that the strangers may rob them of life’s treasures. By emptying themselves, hosts no longer fear anything will be taken. Instead, they see the strangers as guests providing gifts of knowing God more fully through the lives of the guests. Nouwen (1975) identifies three particular types of hosts: parents, teachers, and helping professionals. By viewing their children as their most precious guests rather than property, parents can live life more freely. By viewing their students as guests, teachers can insure their students realize how valuable they are. Finally, by viewing their clients or patients as guests, helping professionals can provide a safe and free environment in which their patients or clients can become known. To be an inviting host, one needs to create a safe, free environment in which the stranger or guest can share views or feelings that may not be congruent with those of the host. Nouwen (1975) suggests that the host become poor in mind and poor in heart. Poor in mind refers to being tolerant of the thoughts and opinions of the guest. By emptying one’s mind of presuppositions, one is able to receive the gift of the guest by being fully engaged in the guest’s world. Poor in heart refers to being willing to put aside the feelings that naturally come up, and feeling what the guest is feeling. The third movement is from illusion to prayer. Nouwen (1975) postulates that most people live their lives in an illusion of immortality. They do not believe that they will die and do not put God as the center of their thoughts and life. Once people realize that they need God as their director in life, they awaken to a more fulfilling life in Christ. Nouwen (1975) suggests three essentials for praying: the Bible, silence, and a spiritual guide. Reading from the Word and then reflecting in silence how the Bible relates to one’s current life experiences is an excellent method for growing closer to God. Finally, having a spiritual guide who can encourage is invaluable. Nouwen (1975) concludes his book by clarifying that prayer is not to be done only in solitude, but in community with Christ’s church.
In this book Henri Nouwen proposes that man can grow spiritually closer to God by choosing three directions or movements when the choices arise. The first movement is from loneliness to solitude. Loneliness is the feeling that no matter how surrounded by people one may be, one is alone and lonely. Solitude on the other hand refers to that of being centered in life, content in experiencing life as it is occurring. When one makes that transition from loneliness to solitude, there is freedom in engaging in others’ lives. Life is no longer to be lived in scarcity and fear. Instead, life is to be lived in “fearless play” (Nouwen, 1975, p. 35). The second movement is from hostility to hospitality. Nouwen (1975) makes the case that most people view strangers with a sense of wariness, concerned that the strangers may rob them of life’s treasures. By emptying themselves, hosts no longer fear anything will be taken. Instead, they see the strangers as guests providing gifts of knowing God more fully through the lives of the guests. Nouwen (1975) identifies three particular types of hosts: parents, teachers, and helping professionals. By viewing their children as their most precious guests rather than property, parents can live life more freely. By viewing their students as guests, teachers can insure their students realize how valuable they are. Finally, by viewing their clients or patients as guests, helping professionals can provide a safe and free environment in which their patients or clients can become known. To be an inviting host, one needs to create a safe, free environment in which the stranger or guest can share views or feelings that may not be congruent with those of the host. Nouwen (1975) suggests that the host become poor in mind and poor in heart. Poor in mind refers to being tolerant of the thoughts and opinions of the guest. By emptying one’s mind of presuppositions, one is able to receive the gift of the guest by being fully engaged in the guest’s world. Poor in heart refers to being willing to put aside the feelings that naturally come up, and feeling what the guest is feeling. The third movement is from illusion to prayer. Nouwen (1975) postulates that most people live their lives in an illusion of immortality. They do not believe that they will die and do not put God as the center of their thoughts and life. Once people realize that they need God as their director in life, they awaken to a more fulfilling life in Christ. Nouwen (1975) suggests three essentials for praying: the Bible, silence, and a spiritual guide. Reading from the Word and then reflecting in silence how the Bible relates to one’s current life experiences is an excellent method for growing closer to God. Finally, having a spiritual guide who can encourage is invaluable. Nouwen (1975) concludes his book by clarifying that prayer is not to be done only in solitude, but in community with Christ’s church.
Issue with Entwistle's Integrative Approaches
Entwistle, D.N. (2004). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: an introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock Publishers.
“All truth is God’s truth” (Entwistle, 2004, p.16) is central to Entwistle’s position that Christianity and psychology are to be allies with equal say in the truth. Entwistle (2004) is so convinced of this that Christians with a differing opinion “lack competency in psychology as a discipline”, (Entwistle, 2004, p. 217). Entwistle (2004) attacks MacArthur and Crabb who both take the position that the Bible is the ultimate authority. Despite his explanation that a person’s presuppositions determine how the Bible and the world are interpreted, there were few if any examples of flawed Bible interpretations. Entwistle (2004) himself makes the point that this world is fallen and, as such, is farther from God than the Word is.
Entwistle quotes Myers and Jeeves (2003) as saying that it is our religious duty to search for truth and that it is part of worshipping God. Entwistle (2004) further states that there are truths in the world that are not covered by the Bible such as the inner workings of the brain. Both of these statements raise concern that Entwistle (2004) is making the need that the truth be known greater than the need to know the Savior. When there is conflict between the Word and the works, we must, as the Colonists and the prima scriptura integrationists assert, default to the authority of the Bible. We must have faith in God’s Word especially when our minds cannot grasp a concept. By rationalizing that the Bible is interpreted wrongly, we risk diminishing His authority and making science our god.
“All truth is God’s truth” (Entwistle, 2004, p.16) is central to Entwistle’s position that Christianity and psychology are to be allies with equal say in the truth. Entwistle (2004) is so convinced of this that Christians with a differing opinion “lack competency in psychology as a discipline”, (Entwistle, 2004, p. 217). Entwistle (2004) attacks MacArthur and Crabb who both take the position that the Bible is the ultimate authority. Despite his explanation that a person’s presuppositions determine how the Bible and the world are interpreted, there were few if any examples of flawed Bible interpretations. Entwistle (2004) himself makes the point that this world is fallen and, as such, is farther from God than the Word is.
Entwistle quotes Myers and Jeeves (2003) as saying that it is our religious duty to search for truth and that it is part of worshipping God. Entwistle (2004) further states that there are truths in the world that are not covered by the Bible such as the inner workings of the brain. Both of these statements raise concern that Entwistle (2004) is making the need that the truth be known greater than the need to know the Savior. When there is conflict between the Word and the works, we must, as the Colonists and the prima scriptura integrationists assert, default to the authority of the Bible. We must have faith in God’s Word especially when our minds cannot grasp a concept. By rationalizing that the Bible is interpreted wrongly, we risk diminishing His authority and making science our god.
Watch Your Motives When Debating the Bible
Entwistle, D.N. (2004). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: an introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock Publishers.
Concrete Responses
This book brought back very vivid memories of my early years as a baby Christian. I was invited to a Bible study at my new evangelical church. We met at the International House of Pancakes each Thursday morning and discussed the Bible. The Bible study leader was a literalist believing every word was truth. Possibly due to my Catholic background, I believed the Bible was a great self-help guide which provided good direction in life, but also contained many errors and was not to be taken literally. As I explained to the leader that miracles such as those detailed in the book of Jonah or the feeding of the 4000 could have everyday explanations, my Bible study leader said, “Paul, you take the easy way out, don’t you?” I rebutted that believing the Word of God is to be taken literally is really taking the easy way out. “You are turning your brain off when you believe that,” I commented. Each week I would return to debate the leader. He was not offended by my attacks though I had clearly derailed his direction with the group. In the end, he asked that he and I meet separately to discuss my questions. This man softened me and helped me find my heart. I began to realize my motives had nothing to do with glorifying God. They had everything to do with showing that my intellect was superior to his. In an effort to discover the truth, I put myself first and the work of my Savior second.
Concrete Responses
This book brought back very vivid memories of my early years as a baby Christian. I was invited to a Bible study at my new evangelical church. We met at the International House of Pancakes each Thursday morning and discussed the Bible. The Bible study leader was a literalist believing every word was truth. Possibly due to my Catholic background, I believed the Bible was a great self-help guide which provided good direction in life, but also contained many errors and was not to be taken literally. As I explained to the leader that miracles such as those detailed in the book of Jonah or the feeding of the 4000 could have everyday explanations, my Bible study leader said, “Paul, you take the easy way out, don’t you?” I rebutted that believing the Word of God is to be taken literally is really taking the easy way out. “You are turning your brain off when you believe that,” I commented. Each week I would return to debate the leader. He was not offended by my attacks though I had clearly derailed his direction with the group. In the end, he asked that he and I meet separately to discuss my questions. This man softened me and helped me find my heart. I began to realize my motives had nothing to do with glorifying God. They had everything to do with showing that my intellect was superior to his. In an effort to discover the truth, I put myself first and the work of my Savior second.
Summary of Entwistle's Integrative Approaches to Psychology and Christianity
Entwistle, D.N. (2004). Integrative approaches to psychology and Christianity: an introduction to worldview issues, philosophical foundations, and models of integration. Eugene, OR: Wipf and Stock Publishers.
In this book David Entwistle provides a case for integrating Christian faith with the discipline of psychology. Entwistle (2004) follows the symbolism first posited by Tertullian (c. 160-225) in representing Athens as the voice of reason and Jerusalem as the virtue of faith. He first poses the question whether psychology and Christianity are at odds with each other or can be integrated. Psychology is differentiated from philosophy or theology in that it uses specific methods for describing physical and behavioral observations of man. Entwistle (2004) then puts forth a theme which is echoed throughout the book: “All truth is God’s truth” (Entwistle, 2004, p.16). Because of this, when there is conflict, it matters not which view is closest to the truth. Both the Christian view and the psychological view come from God. Entwistle (2004) provides historical background on the faith versus reason debate. Throughout the centuries, scientists and organized religion have been both allies and enemies. During times of Copernicus and Galileo, the church persecuted scientists for questioning the truth. Likewise proponents of science such as J.W. Draper belittled those with faith as being less intellectual. Entwistle (2004) then expands on another key concept, that of worldview and interpretation. The person in search of truth will be biased to some degree by how they view the world. A Christian believes that man was created in the image of God with a purpose to glorify Him. Entwistle (2004) highlights that it is critical to examine one’s own presuppositions as it determines how one interprets both the Bible and the world. By viewing science as descriptive of the world rather than prescriptive of it, the door opens for both Christianity and psychology to be integrated. If one is open to the possibility of miracles, then when something not easily explainable by science occurs, Providence may be the explanation. With a secular worldview, science is the only answer.
Entwistle (2004) describes five models for integration: Enemies, Spies, Colonists, Neutral Parties, and Allies. Enemies believe, as Tertullian first stated, that faith and reason cannot be in agreement. Christian combatants believe that the Bible is the one Truth while secular combatants believe science is the one truth. Spies are those who have a psychological background but who are engaged with the religious community. They do not accept the tenets of Christianity but see activities such as prayer or forgiveness as useful to the secular world. Colonists are religious advocates who engage the scientific community in an effort to convert others to their way of viewing life. Neutral parties see Christianity and psychology as two mutually exclusive disciplines with little to no overlap. Allies see Christianity and psychology as two complementary methods for discovering truth. When the two appear to disagree, it is because one of the interpretations is flawed. Entwistle (2004) concludes his book by making the case that the Ally paradigm is the only correct integration model. He echoes Francis Bacon’s assertion that Christianity attempts to discover truth through God’s word, the Bible. Psychology attempts to discover truth through God’s works, the world. Once again, the central theme pours through: “All truth is God’s truth”, (Entwistle, 2004, p.260).
In this book David Entwistle provides a case for integrating Christian faith with the discipline of psychology. Entwistle (2004) follows the symbolism first posited by Tertullian (c. 160-225) in representing Athens as the voice of reason and Jerusalem as the virtue of faith. He first poses the question whether psychology and Christianity are at odds with each other or can be integrated. Psychology is differentiated from philosophy or theology in that it uses specific methods for describing physical and behavioral observations of man. Entwistle (2004) then puts forth a theme which is echoed throughout the book: “All truth is God’s truth” (Entwistle, 2004, p.16). Because of this, when there is conflict, it matters not which view is closest to the truth. Both the Christian view and the psychological view come from God. Entwistle (2004) provides historical background on the faith versus reason debate. Throughout the centuries, scientists and organized religion have been both allies and enemies. During times of Copernicus and Galileo, the church persecuted scientists for questioning the truth. Likewise proponents of science such as J.W. Draper belittled those with faith as being less intellectual. Entwistle (2004) then expands on another key concept, that of worldview and interpretation. The person in search of truth will be biased to some degree by how they view the world. A Christian believes that man was created in the image of God with a purpose to glorify Him. Entwistle (2004) highlights that it is critical to examine one’s own presuppositions as it determines how one interprets both the Bible and the world. By viewing science as descriptive of the world rather than prescriptive of it, the door opens for both Christianity and psychology to be integrated. If one is open to the possibility of miracles, then when something not easily explainable by science occurs, Providence may be the explanation. With a secular worldview, science is the only answer.
Entwistle (2004) describes five models for integration: Enemies, Spies, Colonists, Neutral Parties, and Allies. Enemies believe, as Tertullian first stated, that faith and reason cannot be in agreement. Christian combatants believe that the Bible is the one Truth while secular combatants believe science is the one truth. Spies are those who have a psychological background but who are engaged with the religious community. They do not accept the tenets of Christianity but see activities such as prayer or forgiveness as useful to the secular world. Colonists are religious advocates who engage the scientific community in an effort to convert others to their way of viewing life. Neutral parties see Christianity and psychology as two mutually exclusive disciplines with little to no overlap. Allies see Christianity and psychology as two complementary methods for discovering truth. When the two appear to disagree, it is because one of the interpretations is flawed. Entwistle (2004) concludes his book by making the case that the Ally paradigm is the only correct integration model. He echoes Francis Bacon’s assertion that Christianity attempts to discover truth through God’s word, the Bible. Psychology attempts to discover truth through God’s works, the world. Once again, the central theme pours through: “All truth is God’s truth”, (Entwistle, 2004, p.260).
Counseling People Who Are Suffering
The first step I feel in counseling people who are suffering is to let them share their story and to empathize with them. If I have experienced something similar to their suffering, I may share with them briefly my experience at a high level. But then I would quickly put the focus back on the client. Should the client be Christian, I would be inclined to offer some Bible verses such as those in James Chapter one or 1st Peter Chapter one to give the client a Biblical perspective on suffering. As Nouwen states it is often through suffering that we become more intimate with God (1975). I do not believe the goal of counseling is to remove all suffering. Instead, it is to console, comfort, and provide hope for the client that he or she will be able to make it through this season of life. As the counselor, I would walk with them insuring that the client knows he or she is not alone. I would also provide methods for coping with the suffering. Only God will determine how much suffering is required for the good of the client.
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements
of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements
of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Suggestions for a Parent with ADD to Reduce the Child’s ADD Tendencies
This is a section of a paper written for my lifespan development counseling class on ADD.
There are a number of actions a parent with ADD can take to reduce the child’s ADD tendencies. Parenting and non-parenting skills both can be modified to positively influence the child. Parents with ADD have some distinct disadvantages from other parents due to their disorder. The inability to focus on details and on family life can negatively influence the child’s ADD tendencies by creating stress and ignorance. The inability to handle crises in the moment they occur can magnify stress. On the positive side, parents with ADD have experienced what their children are experiencing and has safely navigated the tumultuous waters of adolescence to adulthood.
Defend the Weakness – Stress Reduction
Stress is more likely to occur with families with ADD (Brown & Pacini, 1989). To counter this, parents with ADD should employ stress reducing techniques in the family environment. These include organization, time management, value system, serial operations, and self-care.
With organization, family life and personal life becomes less stressed. Organization reduces the number of surprising events and mini-crises that occur. Early morning school days are often a stress situation as multiple people are hurrying about in a home to get ready and catch the bus or carpool. The situation where a child who announces minutes before needing to be on the bus that there are no clean clothes to wear instantly creates stress in the child, the parents, and the other siblings. By being organized and prepared for the day, parents alleviate their children of unneeded stress in their lives.
With time management, there is sufficient margin for handling unexpected surprises. Again, taking the early morning school day as an example, parents who build no buffer into their morning ritual are destined to experience surprises and elevated stress. The child who rushed through breakfast and dressed quickly for school but cannot find his or her shoes will certainly be stressed. But if this awareness occurs 30 minutes before the child needs to be on the bus, the stress level remains relatively low compared to a last minute awakening. By building in time for unexpected surprises, such as the shoe search, parents reduce stress in their children’s lives.
With the proper value system, parents teach their children what matters most and what is little to no worry. Children with ADHD will not likely be the children who have all of their pencils sharpened to the satisfaction of their teachers. They tend to draw outside the lines. They most likely will not receive the ribbon for best conduct. So it is paramount to these children that their parents put proper perspective on their children’s lives. Parents need to show their children that they are valued no matter what. For parents that have a faith-based value system, this is a particularly important role to play with the children. By grounding children with proper perspective on life, parents take everyday stress off their children’s shoulders.
With serial operations, parents focus on one particular activity at a time rather than multi-tasking. Once again, taking the morning school routine as an example, parents often are required to perform many tasks in a very short period of time. Making breakfast, making lunches, and dressing children all need to happen on time. Parents with ADD who in the midst of making breakfast undertake making lunches are setting themselves up for failure. Parents with ADD will often multi-task despite having sufficient time as their ADD tendencies take over. As tasks get interrupted, the parents’ stress levels increase influencing the children’s stress levels as well. By taking actions serially, parents simplify life and reduce stress.
Living with ADD and with children is a recipe for a stressful life. It is important that parents take time to care for themselves. This self-care is essential in many facets of life: mental, physical, and spiritual. Relaxing techniques such as yoga, meditation, or simply a warm bath re-energize parents’ spirits. Staying fit through proper nutrition and exercise provides energy for the parents to handle day-to-day activities. An active spiritual life involving church functions or simply quiet time in prayer can refresh the parents’ soul allowing them to handle day-to-day life experiences. By taking proper care of themselves, parents are more resilient in the face of stressful situations and subsequently reduce the stress of their children.
Press the Advantages – Empathy and Role Modeling
Although parents with ADD are at a disadvantage when it comes to stress, they have a strong advantage in terms of empathy. Empathy is defined by Merriam-Webster (2009) as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.” Although all parents of children with ADD can love and care for their children, parents with ADD can truly say that they have experienced what the children with ADD have experienced. Rather than surmising what their children might be feeling, parents with ADD are able to live in their children’s minds “vicariously” as Merriam-Webster (2009) puts it. Children need to known, to be understood. They need that sense of intimacy (Grusec, Goodnow, and Kuczynski, 2000).
The added advantage that parents with ADD have is that they are truly their childrens’ role models. Not only can parents with ADD walk beside their children in their experiences, but they also can act as respected guides taking their children through the turbulent times of adolescence. The children know that their parents have taken a similar path of life with the same disadvantages they are experiencing. Yet, the children have the potential to see the parents succeeding at all facets of life. Through the gift of empathy, parents with ADD can teach their children to worry less, to love more and to value themselves completely.
Feel free to respond to this with your thoughts. If you would like the complete paper, approximately 15 pages, send me a note.
There are a number of actions a parent with ADD can take to reduce the child’s ADD tendencies. Parenting and non-parenting skills both can be modified to positively influence the child. Parents with ADD have some distinct disadvantages from other parents due to their disorder. The inability to focus on details and on family life can negatively influence the child’s ADD tendencies by creating stress and ignorance. The inability to handle crises in the moment they occur can magnify stress. On the positive side, parents with ADD have experienced what their children are experiencing and has safely navigated the tumultuous waters of adolescence to adulthood.
Defend the Weakness – Stress Reduction
Stress is more likely to occur with families with ADD (Brown & Pacini, 1989). To counter this, parents with ADD should employ stress reducing techniques in the family environment. These include organization, time management, value system, serial operations, and self-care.
With organization, family life and personal life becomes less stressed. Organization reduces the number of surprising events and mini-crises that occur. Early morning school days are often a stress situation as multiple people are hurrying about in a home to get ready and catch the bus or carpool. The situation where a child who announces minutes before needing to be on the bus that there are no clean clothes to wear instantly creates stress in the child, the parents, and the other siblings. By being organized and prepared for the day, parents alleviate their children of unneeded stress in their lives.
With time management, there is sufficient margin for handling unexpected surprises. Again, taking the early morning school day as an example, parents who build no buffer into their morning ritual are destined to experience surprises and elevated stress. The child who rushed through breakfast and dressed quickly for school but cannot find his or her shoes will certainly be stressed. But if this awareness occurs 30 minutes before the child needs to be on the bus, the stress level remains relatively low compared to a last minute awakening. By building in time for unexpected surprises, such as the shoe search, parents reduce stress in their children’s lives.
With the proper value system, parents teach their children what matters most and what is little to no worry. Children with ADHD will not likely be the children who have all of their pencils sharpened to the satisfaction of their teachers. They tend to draw outside the lines. They most likely will not receive the ribbon for best conduct. So it is paramount to these children that their parents put proper perspective on their children’s lives. Parents need to show their children that they are valued no matter what. For parents that have a faith-based value system, this is a particularly important role to play with the children. By grounding children with proper perspective on life, parents take everyday stress off their children’s shoulders.
With serial operations, parents focus on one particular activity at a time rather than multi-tasking. Once again, taking the morning school routine as an example, parents often are required to perform many tasks in a very short period of time. Making breakfast, making lunches, and dressing children all need to happen on time. Parents with ADD who in the midst of making breakfast undertake making lunches are setting themselves up for failure. Parents with ADD will often multi-task despite having sufficient time as their ADD tendencies take over. As tasks get interrupted, the parents’ stress levels increase influencing the children’s stress levels as well. By taking actions serially, parents simplify life and reduce stress.
Living with ADD and with children is a recipe for a stressful life. It is important that parents take time to care for themselves. This self-care is essential in many facets of life: mental, physical, and spiritual. Relaxing techniques such as yoga, meditation, or simply a warm bath re-energize parents’ spirits. Staying fit through proper nutrition and exercise provides energy for the parents to handle day-to-day activities. An active spiritual life involving church functions or simply quiet time in prayer can refresh the parents’ soul allowing them to handle day-to-day life experiences. By taking proper care of themselves, parents are more resilient in the face of stressful situations and subsequently reduce the stress of their children.
Press the Advantages – Empathy and Role Modeling
Although parents with ADD are at a disadvantage when it comes to stress, they have a strong advantage in terms of empathy. Empathy is defined by Merriam-Webster (2009) as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.” Although all parents of children with ADD can love and care for their children, parents with ADD can truly say that they have experienced what the children with ADD have experienced. Rather than surmising what their children might be feeling, parents with ADD are able to live in their children’s minds “vicariously” as Merriam-Webster (2009) puts it. Children need to known, to be understood. They need that sense of intimacy (Grusec, Goodnow, and Kuczynski, 2000).
The added advantage that parents with ADD have is that they are truly their childrens’ role models. Not only can parents with ADD walk beside their children in their experiences, but they also can act as respected guides taking their children through the turbulent times of adolescence. The children know that their parents have taken a similar path of life with the same disadvantages they are experiencing. Yet, the children have the potential to see the parents succeeding at all facets of life. Through the gift of empathy, parents with ADD can teach their children to worry less, to love more and to value themselves completely.
Feel free to respond to this with your thoughts. If you would like the complete paper, approximately 15 pages, send me a note.
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