Those going through separation or divorce often grow closer to God during this season of life. They can feel God and depend on Him throughout the day. That is, except when that text, email, or call comes from the other person. Then, for some inexplicable reason, they totally forget about leaning on God. Instead, they must read the text or email or listen immediately to the voicemail.
Pause for a second. Or two. Only read the text or email after you’ve had a chance to connect to your source. A short prayer to your Father. A great verse to keep in mind when you finally are ready to read or listen to the message is 2nd Corinthians 10:5 “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Read or listen to the message with Him at your side. He wants you to lean on Him.
Friday, November 25, 2011
The Son of the Return of the Blog
It’s been quite a while since my last blog. I’m now wrapping up my 13th of 15 counseling classes and starting to look for my internship. Denise and I are finishing up the latest DivorceCare at our church LakeHills. This year we were joined by Kerry and Diane Pollard of Westlake Hills Presbyterian, a terrific couple with so much experience with couples and those going through this tough season of life. Two alumni Danelle and Greg have been great assistant leaders.
Next session I’ll likely teach Discovering Intimacy, a class to help single adults develop healthy, intimate relationships. The class is based on David Ferguson's (2002) definition of intimacy as to know someone, to be known by someone, and to have a mutual caring for each other.
From the personal side, we now have one son driving (Ian) and another with his permit (Hayden). My library has expanded to include books on raising adolescents. Currently, I’m reading Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager , But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager by Anthony Wolf. Funny and calming.
Here’s to a great holiday season to you!
Ferguson, D., Ferguson, T., Walker, B. & Walker, J. (2002). Discovering intimacy: Relating to God and others as single adults. Austin, TX: Relationship Press.
Next session I’ll likely teach Discovering Intimacy, a class to help single adults develop healthy, intimate relationships. The class is based on David Ferguson's (2002) definition of intimacy as to know someone, to be known by someone, and to have a mutual caring for each other.
From the personal side, we now have one son driving (Ian) and another with his permit (Hayden). My library has expanded to include books on raising adolescents. Currently, I’m reading Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager , But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager by Anthony Wolf. Funny and calming.
Here’s to a great holiday season to you!
Ferguson, D., Ferguson, T., Walker, B. & Walker, J. (2002). Discovering intimacy: Relating to God and others as single adults. Austin, TX: Relationship Press.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Judgment Day
The thought of Judgment Day for many of us makes us nervous, even fearful. This past weekend I had the opportunity to be at Manresa, my yearly respite, my silent retreat. Located in Convent, Louisiana along the Mississippi River, the quarters used to be Jefferson College. Now they are home to Manresa Retreat House, a silent retreat from Thursday evening to Sunday noon led by the Jesuits, a Catholic order of brothers. The 150 year old trees with the moss swaying in the wind are one of my favorite memories of the weekend.
Now, back to Judgment Day. I have become an avid journaler, usually just about every day now, during quiet times in the morning. This past weekend I reviewed my journal entries of 18months truly feeling Jesus’ presence at my side. Some entries I winced in memory. Others brought tears. The journaling consists of the day’s highlights and also my prayers and conversations with God. As Jesus and I reviewed these pages, I became passionate about how I would live 2011 for Him.
On the plane back to Austin, I laughed. I realized that Jesus had given me some extra tutoring. Seems like he knows I wouldn’t have done well cramming for Judgment Day if I didn’t review my work more frequently.
Now, back to Judgment Day. I have become an avid journaler, usually just about every day now, during quiet times in the morning. This past weekend I reviewed my journal entries of 18months truly feeling Jesus’ presence at my side. Some entries I winced in memory. Others brought tears. The journaling consists of the day’s highlights and also my prayers and conversations with God. As Jesus and I reviewed these pages, I became passionate about how I would live 2011 for Him.
On the plane back to Austin, I laughed. I realized that Jesus had given me some extra tutoring. Seems like he knows I wouldn’t have done well cramming for Judgment Day if I didn’t review my work more frequently.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
The Newspaper Stand
Wouldn’t it be nice to live life free and not allow others to have power over you? A story I heard is a great illustration of just how to do that.
A couple friends were walking together when one of them stopped at a newspaper stand and asked for the daily paper. The attendant was extremely rude to the man, shoving him the paper and sneering at him as he gave him change. The man tipped his hat to the attendant and told him, “Have a great day!” His friend was appalled and said, “Wow, that guy really treated you poorly!” The man, now with his paper, said, “Yes, he does that every day.” His friend said, “You ought to get a paper from somewhere else.” The man smiled and said, “This is the closest newspaper stand to my house. Why should I let the attendant’s poor outlook on life cause me to walk one foot more to get a paper.”
Wouldn’t you like to have that kind of attitude? Can you think of a time in your life when you’ve burdened yourself just so you didn’t have to deal with someone with a poor outlook on life? Why not start living today free!
A couple friends were walking together when one of them stopped at a newspaper stand and asked for the daily paper. The attendant was extremely rude to the man, shoving him the paper and sneering at him as he gave him change. The man tipped his hat to the attendant and told him, “Have a great day!” His friend was appalled and said, “Wow, that guy really treated you poorly!” The man, now with his paper, said, “Yes, he does that every day.” His friend said, “You ought to get a paper from somewhere else.” The man smiled and said, “This is the closest newspaper stand to my house. Why should I let the attendant’s poor outlook on life cause me to walk one foot more to get a paper.”
Wouldn’t you like to have that kind of attitude? Can you think of a time in your life when you’ve burdened yourself just so you didn’t have to deal with someone with a poor outlook on life? Why not start living today free!
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Adler's lifestyle.....Your lifestyle
Alfred Adler coined the term “lifestyle” to mean how a person views himself or herself and how that person views the world. According to Adler, by the time you are six, your lifestyle has been set. For many people, including myself, this means feelings of inadequacy. Just think about it. At six, you’re not very good at anything. For me, with 3 older brothers, I lost at just about every game.
So you carry this “baggage” into your adult life and into your relations. So what’s a person to do? Well, then there’s God. If you take that step of faith and give your life to Christ, the rules change. Rather than assessing yourself based on what you’re able to accomplish or what others think of you, you suddenly know your value.
He loves you. Rom 8:38-39 Nothing shall separate us from the love of God which is Christ Jesus
You are valued. Matt 6:26 Look at the birds of the air…Are you not much more valuable than they?
(Bible verses courtesy of Gary Sinclair).
So what’s your lifestyle? Are you still a people-pleaser? Are you still a perfectionist?
Today’s a perfect day to change. Give yourself completely to Christ and experience the freedom he’s promised.
So you carry this “baggage” into your adult life and into your relations. So what’s a person to do? Well, then there’s God. If you take that step of faith and give your life to Christ, the rules change. Rather than assessing yourself based on what you’re able to accomplish or what others think of you, you suddenly know your value.
He loves you. Rom 8:38-39 Nothing shall separate us from the love of God which is Christ Jesus
You are valued. Matt 6:26 Look at the birds of the air…Are you not much more valuable than they?
(Bible verses courtesy of Gary Sinclair).
So what’s your lifestyle? Are you still a people-pleaser? Are you still a perfectionist?
Today’s a perfect day to change. Give yourself completely to Christ and experience the freedom he’s promised.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Anxiety - Doing Mind Judo On Satan
A few years ago, I found myself becoming anxious each afternoon. It came at a time when I was growing spiritually. After a few weeks of daily anxiety, usually about 1:30pm, I realized that I did not feel close to God those early afternoons. When I was in prayer at other times of the day, close with God, I could not feel anxiety. Putting two and two together, I found that, although I couldn’t prevent anxiety, I could shorten those anxious moments by using anxiety as a personal message from God to be with Him.
As I relayed this to a pastor friend of mine, he smiled and said, you’re doing “mind judo” on Satan. I hadn’t thought of it in that context, but now think “mind judo” whenever I feel anxious. Then I turn to my Father and pray.
As I relayed this to a pastor friend of mine, he smiled and said, you’re doing “mind judo” on Satan. I hadn’t thought of it in that context, but now think “mind judo” whenever I feel anxious. Then I turn to my Father and pray.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Playing Hide 'n Seek with God the Father
My friend Warren shared a story about God the Father playing hide ‘n seek with us. David Ferguson of Intimate Life ministries shared how God the Father waits for us to awake every day. It is with these two sources, that I share with you a story for all of us who struggle with relating to God the Father. Maybe because of our earthly father. Maybe because of something else….
Imagine, you wake up from a wonderful sleep. As you’re still rolling around in bed, with sleep in your eyes, there’s a tap at the door and it your heavenly Father. You can tell in a second that He adores you. He tells you to come get breakfast and then you two will go play outside. He makes you a wonderful breakfast, laughing with you, making jokes, always with that gleam in His eye for you.
After breakfast, you and He go outside to the yard out front. He says that you two are going to play hide ‘n seek. Before you can utter a word, He has you close your eyes. As you stand still with your eyes closed, all of the fears of the world converge on you. The world feels dark and scary. You feel so lonely, so fragile. As you imagine that you’ll never be able to find your dad, the emotions become too much. You open your eyes and scream out, “Daddy, where are you?”
The yard is large. There is one tiny twig of a tree standing in the middle of it. From your view, you can see the large towering figure of Him standing behind it, extending from both sides of the tree. With all of your energy and tears running down your cheeks, you run to the tree. You look up at your Father and touch his arm. He opens his eyes, looks down at you, and says with delight, “You found me!”
And what a rush of relief, delight, and love you feel.
You have your Father and He has never left you. He wants you to find Him, but you must open your eyes and look. Your Father TRULY delights in you. Believe this.
Imagine, you wake up from a wonderful sleep. As you’re still rolling around in bed, with sleep in your eyes, there’s a tap at the door and it your heavenly Father. You can tell in a second that He adores you. He tells you to come get breakfast and then you two will go play outside. He makes you a wonderful breakfast, laughing with you, making jokes, always with that gleam in His eye for you.
After breakfast, you and He go outside to the yard out front. He says that you two are going to play hide ‘n seek. Before you can utter a word, He has you close your eyes. As you stand still with your eyes closed, all of the fears of the world converge on you. The world feels dark and scary. You feel so lonely, so fragile. As you imagine that you’ll never be able to find your dad, the emotions become too much. You open your eyes and scream out, “Daddy, where are you?”
The yard is large. There is one tiny twig of a tree standing in the middle of it. From your view, you can see the large towering figure of Him standing behind it, extending from both sides of the tree. With all of your energy and tears running down your cheeks, you run to the tree. You look up at your Father and touch his arm. He opens his eyes, looks down at you, and says with delight, “You found me!”
And what a rush of relief, delight, and love you feel.
You have your Father and He has never left you. He wants you to find Him, but you must open your eyes and look. Your Father TRULY delights in you. Believe this.
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