Having a healthy sense of self, a healthy sense of need, and an openness to healing relationships are all three essentials to a spiritually and emotionally sound client (McMinn, 1996). The three aspects work together feeding and complementing each other when all are healthy. They are interwoven with each being dependent to some degree on the other. Just as all three work harmoniously together in a healthy person, one of the three aspects can adversely affect the other two when it is unhealthy.
A healthy sense of self refers to a knowing and acceptance of oneself, both positive and negative attributes. Clients see themselves as an integral part of Christ’s church with a responsibility to God and others. Instead of freedom and independence, clients value self-sacrifice and the ministering to the needs of others in their lives. Clients become focused on God and move away from self-sufficiency. Self-absorption, self-hate, and lack of self restraint no longer have a hold on clients with a healthy sense of self. Because of this, clients can exhibit more of the fruits of the spirit Paul highlights in Galatians 5.
A healthy sense of need refers to an understanding of brokenness, a separation from God and acknowledgement of one’s sinful nature. This aspect is particularly meaningful and suffers from many risks. By acknowledging that they need God and others, clients are humbled and grounded in Christ-like values. It breaks down walls that can inhibit clients from experiencing God’s glory in them and from growing closer to others. Several risks exist though that can cause a faulty awareness of need. With an external attributional style, clients can become stuck in the victim role. This can show up as bitterness, cynicism, and helplessness, believing that others control their emotions and actions. By understanding that they are part of the human race that God has created and that they were born with original sin due to the Fall, clients can view their brokenness accurately. They see their brokenness as real, requiring God to heal them, but they do not see it as debilitating.
Openness to healing relationships refers to an accurate understanding of one’s relationship with God and others. One of the critical healing relationships involves the client and the counselor. The counselor can model for clients what a healthy Christian should be. Qualities such as trust, empathy, and respect, all necessary for a healthy relationship, can be exhibited in the counseling session. Care needs to be taken that clients do not consider the counselor as their savior or become dependent on the counselor. Likewise, the risk of the counselor-client relationship being exploited needs to be watched. Instead, clients need to be directed, when appropriate, towards God and the healing that He is producing in them. Nouwen (1975), like McMinn, also highlights the importance of healthy boundaries. In this way, clients can avoid unhealthy clinging to others and allow for a healthy space with which to grow closer to God and to others.
McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
Nouwen, H. J. M. (1975). Reaching out: The three movements of the spiritual life. New York, N.Y.: Doubleday, Image Books.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Summary of McMinn's Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian counseling
Mark McMinn (1996) advances the belief that Christian counselors need to not only be versed in the latest psychological methods and knowledgeable about theological concepts, but they also need to have a spiritual maturity. With these three disciplines, counselors can feel well prepared in addressing prayer, Scripture, sin, confession, forgiveness, and redemption. McMinn (1996) puts forth a model for healing which starts with a healthy sense of self, moves into brokenness or need, and concludes with a healthy relationship with God and others.
Praying for clients outside of the counseling session or in counseling sessions quietly is strongly urged as it can help and does not put the client at any risk. Open prayer, however, with the client can be both helpful and harmful. On the positive, clients can learn how to pray and can grow closer to God by petitioning in prayer or by worshiping God. On the negative, clients may grow too intimate with the counselor or may not pray by themselves believing the prayers in the counseling sessions suffice. McMinn (1996) emphasizes it is critical for the counselor to have his or her own prayer times to remain strong with the Lord.
Scripture is rarely used in counseling according to McMinn (1996) despite its healing potential. Psychologists help clients find the truth within themselves and to count on themselves to solve their problems. Christian counselors, however, look to God for this and to Scripture for the Truth. Depending on the client’s mental and spiritual well-being, a counselor must determine the appropriate use of Scripture.
With sin, some clients blame themselves for their choices in life while others blame everyone else. By accenting the concept of original sin, those clients who blame themselves can be given hope as all men were born with this. By accenting personal sin, those who blame everyone else can be shown their own part to play and can be redirected towards God.
Confession of their sins can lead clients into a new relationship with God. Some who think poorly of themselves resist confession due to the discomfort it brings while others who think too highly of themselves resist it out of sheer pride. Psychologists use confession to come to a place of comfort while Christian counselors use it so clients can see themselves and God in the right light.
Forgiveness, as with confession, can be used by psychologists to free clients of the pain and memories which have held them back. Christian counselors encourage forgiveness as a Christian duty. God tells us to forgive and so we should. However, true forgiveness comes when Christians are aware of their own inequities and forgive their perpetrators out of kindness and compassion.
Redemption of the client occurs when God cleans the slate of all the client’s sins and provides him or her with a new Christ-centered life. Counselors can play a role in this process by providing comfort to their clients and perspective on their clients’ lives. God ultimately provides the redemption.
McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
Praying for clients outside of the counseling session or in counseling sessions quietly is strongly urged as it can help and does not put the client at any risk. Open prayer, however, with the client can be both helpful and harmful. On the positive, clients can learn how to pray and can grow closer to God by petitioning in prayer or by worshiping God. On the negative, clients may grow too intimate with the counselor or may not pray by themselves believing the prayers in the counseling sessions suffice. McMinn (1996) emphasizes it is critical for the counselor to have his or her own prayer times to remain strong with the Lord.
Scripture is rarely used in counseling according to McMinn (1996) despite its healing potential. Psychologists help clients find the truth within themselves and to count on themselves to solve their problems. Christian counselors, however, look to God for this and to Scripture for the Truth. Depending on the client’s mental and spiritual well-being, a counselor must determine the appropriate use of Scripture.
With sin, some clients blame themselves for their choices in life while others blame everyone else. By accenting the concept of original sin, those clients who blame themselves can be given hope as all men were born with this. By accenting personal sin, those who blame everyone else can be shown their own part to play and can be redirected towards God.
Confession of their sins can lead clients into a new relationship with God. Some who think poorly of themselves resist confession due to the discomfort it brings while others who think too highly of themselves resist it out of sheer pride. Psychologists use confession to come to a place of comfort while Christian counselors use it so clients can see themselves and God in the right light.
Forgiveness, as with confession, can be used by psychologists to free clients of the pain and memories which have held them back. Christian counselors encourage forgiveness as a Christian duty. God tells us to forgive and so we should. However, true forgiveness comes when Christians are aware of their own inequities and forgive their perpetrators out of kindness and compassion.
Redemption of the client occurs when God cleans the slate of all the client’s sins and provides him or her with a new Christ-centered life. Counselors can play a role in this process by providing comfort to their clients and perspective on their clients’ lives. God ultimately provides the redemption.
McMinn, M.R. (1996). Psychology, theology, and spirituality in Christian counseling. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
A Letter to My Brother
In his description of the discipline of secrecy, Ortberg (1997) highlighted that some people are approval addicts, living in the bondage of what others think about them. I am one of these people. I have been aware of this affliction for many years and have tried to shake it, but it remains a thorn in my side.
A couple years ago, I believe the Holy Spirit worked on my affliction. I was playing an Internet game with my brother Jim. In the midst of the game, I realized how important it was for me to shine in front of my brother. I valued Jim’s opinion of me more than anyone on the planet. Why? As I reflected on this over many days, my childhood came back in full color. I am the youngest of four boys and came out on the losing side in nearly all games. My father worked long hours, and my brother Jim had raised me to some degree. This came back to me as I played the internet game against Jim.
I wrote Jim a letter sharing how I had turned him into my surrogate father and now realized how unfair that was to him. I released him of this responsibility and, in some measure, released myself of the shackles of needing approval. Ortberg (1997) aptly titles the chapter on secrecy as “A Life of Freedom.” Yes, it was freedom that I felt in sharing my heart with my brother. Jim called me shortly thereafter and we were able to a wonderful talk about our childhood and our new families.
Ortberg, J. (1997). The life you’ve always wanted: Spiritual disciplines for ordinary people. Grand Rapids, MI.: Zondervan.
A couple years ago, I believe the Holy Spirit worked on my affliction. I was playing an Internet game with my brother Jim. In the midst of the game, I realized how important it was for me to shine in front of my brother. I valued Jim’s opinion of me more than anyone on the planet. Why? As I reflected on this over many days, my childhood came back in full color. I am the youngest of four boys and came out on the losing side in nearly all games. My father worked long hours, and my brother Jim had raised me to some degree. This came back to me as I played the internet game against Jim.
I wrote Jim a letter sharing how I had turned him into my surrogate father and now realized how unfair that was to him. I released him of this responsibility and, in some measure, released myself of the shackles of needing approval. Ortberg (1997) aptly titles the chapter on secrecy as “A Life of Freedom.” Yes, it was freedom that I felt in sharing my heart with my brother. Jim called me shortly thereafter and we were able to a wonderful talk about our childhood and our new families.
Ortberg, J. (1997). The life you’ve always wanted: Spiritual disciplines for ordinary people. Grand Rapids, MI.: Zondervan.
Summary of The Life You've Always Wanted by John Ortberg
In this book, John Ortberg (1997) outlines a series of practices designed to advance the spiritual growth of the reader. Taking the rallying cry of the Morphin Power Rangers, he uses the statement “It’s morphing time” (Ortberg, 1997, p. 21) to signify a call for humans to evolve into spiritually disciplined, Christ-like creatures.
The first spiritual discipline highlighted is that of celebration. Too often the reality of the world clouds the reality of the life we have been given. Ortberg (1997) challenges the readers to experience “Dee Dah Days” in their lives, after the song his daughter would sing as she danced with joy. He advises the importance of counting blessings and treating joy as a serious essential in life.
Next, Ortberg (1997) identifies “Slowing”, or removing hurry, as an essential discipline. To master this discipline, people should look for opportunities where they are forced to wait. For instance, in the grocery, pick the checkout line with the most people. In addition, practicing solitude allows for the noise of the world to dissipate and for the calm of the Lord to enter the heart.
Prayer is the next discipline discussed. Ortberg (1997) makes the case that prayer does affect the world and is an essential part of a Christian’s daily life. To develop this discipline, it is best to reserve the same time each day and to start small, with five minute durations, and gradually extend the time. In this way, people can make this a lifelong practice.
Servanthood is the next spiritual discipline and is primarily centered on becoming less so that others can become more. To master this discipline, people should do the mundane without looking for thanks, be alert for those interruptions of their daily routines where they can minister to others, and be in the moment with others rather than focusing the conversation on themselves.
With the discipline of confession, one first examines the sins and reasons why they occurred. The confessor then empathizes with those who were injured and promises not to repeat the sin in any way. Finally, the confessor experiences the grace of God knowing that he or she is forgiven.
The practice of secrecy involves doing things for others and growing closer to God without trumpeting these feats to others. Just as a husband and wife have secrets they share only between the two of them, so too should Christians do good deeds or have experiences with God that are known to only God and them. This especially strengthens Christians who are addicted to the approval of others.
Lastly, reflection on Scripture is essential in becoming cleansed from the worldly and immersed in the righteous ways of God. Ortberg (1997) cautions readers not to read too quickly through Scripture, but to meditate on short passages or phrases in letting God speak to them through His Word.
Ortberg (1997) closes by encouraging readers to have the heart of Jesus in all that they do and to persevere through all trials, small and large.
Ortberg, J. (1997). The life you’ve always wanted: Spiritual disciplines for ordinary people. Grand Rapids, MI.: Zondervan.
The first spiritual discipline highlighted is that of celebration. Too often the reality of the world clouds the reality of the life we have been given. Ortberg (1997) challenges the readers to experience “Dee Dah Days” in their lives, after the song his daughter would sing as she danced with joy. He advises the importance of counting blessings and treating joy as a serious essential in life.
Next, Ortberg (1997) identifies “Slowing”, or removing hurry, as an essential discipline. To master this discipline, people should look for opportunities where they are forced to wait. For instance, in the grocery, pick the checkout line with the most people. In addition, practicing solitude allows for the noise of the world to dissipate and for the calm of the Lord to enter the heart.
Prayer is the next discipline discussed. Ortberg (1997) makes the case that prayer does affect the world and is an essential part of a Christian’s daily life. To develop this discipline, it is best to reserve the same time each day and to start small, with five minute durations, and gradually extend the time. In this way, people can make this a lifelong practice.
Servanthood is the next spiritual discipline and is primarily centered on becoming less so that others can become more. To master this discipline, people should do the mundane without looking for thanks, be alert for those interruptions of their daily routines where they can minister to others, and be in the moment with others rather than focusing the conversation on themselves.
With the discipline of confession, one first examines the sins and reasons why they occurred. The confessor then empathizes with those who were injured and promises not to repeat the sin in any way. Finally, the confessor experiences the grace of God knowing that he or she is forgiven.
The practice of secrecy involves doing things for others and growing closer to God without trumpeting these feats to others. Just as a husband and wife have secrets they share only between the two of them, so too should Christians do good deeds or have experiences with God that are known to only God and them. This especially strengthens Christians who are addicted to the approval of others.
Lastly, reflection on Scripture is essential in becoming cleansed from the worldly and immersed in the righteous ways of God. Ortberg (1997) cautions readers not to read too quickly through Scripture, but to meditate on short passages or phrases in letting God speak to them through His Word.
Ortberg (1997) closes by encouraging readers to have the heart of Jesus in all that they do and to persevere through all trials, small and large.
Ortberg, J. (1997). The life you’ve always wanted: Spiritual disciplines for ordinary people. Grand Rapids, MI.: Zondervan.
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